on airplanes and authority

“You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?” (Gal 5:7)

Good question, Bible. (talking to the Bible doesn’t make me crazy, right?) Who hindered me from running the race right?

The easy answer: the devil.
But the real answer: my own flesh. 
The hardest things I have to fight don’t come from other people or other situations or outside temptations. They are the nature and tendencies I was born with; they are the flesh that is warring with the Spirit of God living within me.
That Spirit is how I run and don’t grow weary, how I soar on those eagles’ wings. But that Spirit can’t keep me sustained if my nature is allowed to fight against it freely.
You ever see those “God is my Co-Pilot” bumper stickers? (They all have a dumb font and weird graphics.)
Those are super dumb. When God’s my co-pilot, I nearly crash EVERY. TIME. I suck at flying this thing myself. I may be able to keep it in the air but I’m bumping into things and I am always low on fuel and don’t know how to avoid turbulence at all. 
God is not my co-pilot. At least, I shouldn’t try to confine Him to that role. He should be my rock and my bread and my water and my King. He should be my peace and my comfort and my strength and my fortress. He is holy and worthy and jealous and deserves to be so much more than a co-pilot that I take occasional suggestions from. Christ is my bridegroom, who loves me sacrificially and totally and cleansingly and in whom I can confidently submit. 
There’s no way I can run that race even to completion, much less well enough to deserve a “well done” if I’m trying to run of my own strength and on my own. I can’t shove God into the co-pilot seat. 
Who hindered you?” Me, Bible. I tripped myself up and got caught up in my own pride and ambitions and desires. Time to tie those shoelaces and get out of the pilot’s chair again. 
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I need you to lean left.

HANNAH BRENCHER

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I have not written.

No, not recently.

The excuse is that I am busy. My calendar– my alibi. But that’s just a lie to mask the real reason: I am resisting. I have been resisting for a really long time. Because that is sometimes what we do when we love something so much that we are fully aware it could double back to hurt us– we resist it. Because it changes us. And we are afraid to change.

Me, especially.

I want everything to stay the same. I want the same barista. He should never think to pack his bag and move to Nashville. I want the same mug. The same seat. The same moments played on repeat so we can always do this dance of familiarity.

I am afraid of people leaving. There, I said it. I am afraid of people being taken from me. I want to…

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little reminders

Sorry I’ve been a little MIA in the blog game lately. I was kind of letting my life spiral a little but I’ve grabbed the reigns again (well…more accurately I’m working on releasing control of the reigns back to God).

When I was a senior in high school I participated in Fine Arts for my church. One of the things I did was a spoken word poem-thingy, and I wound up in the top three for our district and took it to nationals.

Lately, I keep asking  “God, what the heck am I even doing?” like all the time. I keep wondering where my fire and my hunger went (as if it’s some puppy that would scamper off, and not something that I need to maintain). So I would repeat little parts of the poem to myself as a reminder of what I had and what I’ve come from and where I should be – where that past 2013 me wanted this current 2015 me to be at spiritually.

👉 So here’s the video. 👈 Because hopefully it will encourage you as much as it does me and as much as it did for those people in that gym.

My God breathed the stars and called them by name/
That same breath is in me and I am not called to be tame/
That great commission was not written to sit on a page/
It was meant to be lived by me no matter my age.